I HATE POSERS!!!!

Let me just start off and say that these stories I put on my blog and share with you guys aren't to publicize how full of myself I am. They are funny (and often pitiful) things that happen throughout my day. So when you read my stories, don't say to yourself "Lauren is sooo full of herself". Because chances are, if you realllyyy know me, we would both agree that isn't the case..AT ALL!!! Now I proceed to my story.....

So there's this guy that I work with from time to time. He gets on my nerves in more ways then you can ever imagine!! He's crazy as hell. It's been confirmed by my boss!! He carries around empty laptop bags to make him look important! He refers to himself as Doctor _______. But most importantly this muthafucka tells people that he has a PhD and is a professor and is doing this job part-time. Bitch.Boo.BYE!!! He clearly has some psychological problem. I tend to worry about him from time because he also has some SEVERE (and I do NOT use that word loosely) anger issues. He's never exercised them around me because he knows better. The reason for this post is because a few weeks ago someone said "He likes you. I know it". As usual, I don't take that to the head, nor does it really phase me. I just go on about my business. In the past he has seen me with my boyfriend. He knows about my boyfriend. He knows I love my boyfriend. One day my boyfriend picks me up from work. Knowing how anti-social he is, people really don't say much to him. After we leave, I hear through the grapevine that he was a little salty over the fact that my boyfriend didn't speak to him (although he should have no reason to do so.) Fast forward to the poser part. This kid one day comes in talking about how he's a pastor and he's never drank before. Now that he has seen my boyfriend and knows the kind of guys I like (which isn't the case. I just so happen to fall in love with this one), he always comes to me with some gangsta shit. Last week he came back from lunch and was like "Yoooo, I'm so drunk. I got fucked up during lunch". Today after he greeted me as his "Nubian Goddess" he goes on and puts on this hood persona. Do I really look like I'm feeling that shit!?!?! He comes up here and was like "Yoo, I'm getting ready to go buy a bottle...and probably smoke some weed later on". WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?! My boyfriend doesn't talk, or act like that. So you putting on this gangsta front is truthfully making me laugh in your fucking face. He wasn't the first person to change up their image or look to try and impress me. That shit is BOO. Try again. Actually no, don't try again. Let me continue to laugh at you. SMH.