Ughh.

Since I've been back in NYC, NOTHING and I do mean absolutely NOTHING has been going how it should be!!!! It's annoying!! I'm annoyed. Everything is like falling apart. I would like to call this a sign, but hell, where is it leading to? I keep telling people that I want a change. I don't know exactly what that change is. But I'm looking. I want new things, new life, and new experiences. I feel like I am being held back in my current situation. The same 9-5 pm job, with the same fucked up lack of vacation days. I'm tired of taking the same train every morning and taking the same bus every evening. That shit is boring. My life is boring. I want to travel. I want to say that I've been here and I'm going there. 10 years from now I want to pull out my photo album and show my nephews and nieces all the fun I had back in the day. What will I have to show for it? A summer luau in the sticks? Don't get me wrong, I had a blast!!! But this all came about when I was in NC. I did things I never did before. I tried new things. I had fun. I let go and didn't think about consequences. I use to always have my life paved out for me. I use to know what and where I was going. Now? It's like I'm stuck. I'm stuck in this lackluster life of the same everyday thing. When I walk into work EVERY Monday, I want to say to myself, "This weekend was fucking amazing! I can't believe I did that!?". Today is Monday, and when I walked into work today, I said, "I'm tired, and I fucking hate this place". It's time to progress. Even if finishing school is in that equation I need to do something!!! Coming in every week day and sitting behind this stupid fucking desk and smiling at the same people every fucking day is NOT working!!! It's not happening for me. It's time for change.