Ok..

So I haven't been on this blog in months and it's pretty pitiful that the only time I do make a come back is when I'm feeling some type of way. Let's not get it twisted..this is FAR from a comeback...i just need something or someone that will listen to me.

A lot has happened and a lot hasn't happened over the past months. I actually am writing on my blog today because I FINALLY have realized that there is only ONE person who understands me and needless to say that person is no longer in my life. It hurts when someone turns their back on you after you gave them your trust. It hurts reallll bad. Through my current situation, through my current aggravation and anger I simply want to just reach out to him and I want him to make me laugh..something that he was always so good at. He understands me. He understands who I am and what I do. I have NEVER met anyone who understands me on the level that he does. That is why he was my bestfriend. Emphasis on "was". It's sad...and I'm sad...and I miss him a lot some times. And I catch myself wanting to call or text him. But I'm not stupid. I'm not going to subject myself to that shit! I've learned that you can't have your cake and eat it to. It's merely impossible. I live a life where I will always be misunderstood. But that's ok with me. That's perfectly fine! I have NO problem being the brightest crayon in the box. What the fuck ever....I will continue to do me. My success is measured by the pack of haters that follow behind me.