My Oh My, Where'd Ya Get Those Thighs!!?!?

Before I start my post I just want to say that the title of this post has absolutely nothing to do with anything. I won't be talking about legs, thighs or chicken. I was feeling creative and zesty and this is what I came up with. Judge me all you want. You wouldn't be the only one.

I almost forgot to blog today! And I promised myself that I would be a lot more tentative with Listentolala. So here I go....


Since I'm starting my "diet" on Monday I've decided to pig out for the rest of this week. And I do NOT use the word "pig" loosely. For the first time in months (8-10) I had McDonalds. Despite the fact that it was SO yucky I ate it. I ate it because I was hungry and I ate it because I feel as though I won't eat it again for another year or so. Anywho, I had a fish fillet sandwich, some cold fries, a cheeseburger and a Big Mac wrap. Yeah, I said it, A.BIG.MAC.WRAP! After that combination my ass (and mouth) was on fiyahhhh. McDonalds is by far the most disgusting thing EVER! I can see why I stopped eating that crap. I felt like I was consuming large buckets of horse shit. Back to the point that I tend to make....My goal is to stuff myself silly until Monday when I start my "diet". I've been creating this mental list of things I'm craving. Chocolate, cake, cookies, donuts...mmm..donuts. Just to make sure we are all on the same page I am considering dieting because I WANT to. No one is making me, no one is telling me and please believe I look DAMN good...I just would like to tone it up and calm it down.

Speaking of food...my mom just called and told me she's getting La Caridad for dinner. On that note...I AM GONE...YUMMMMM

New Year, New Me, New..Ummm???

Well before the clock strikes midnight most people are jotting down their new years resolutions. From extremes such as radical weight loss to quitting anything cold turkey. I don't believe in New Years resolutions because every year I say I'm going to watch what I eat, I end up scarfing down a cookie by the third day. New Year resolutions are a bit, what's the word, CLICHE! Why do we have to wait until the new year to start busting our butts?? Tomorrow is never promised, right?? I think I sort of gave up on the whole New Years resolution thing. I mean I definitely feel as though I'll be changing some of the things I did wrong last year, but I'm not putting anything in stone.

So instead of bragging and blah blah blah-ing about New Year resolutions I'm going to go ahead and tell you my hopes and aspirations for the NEW year.

1. Get into the college of my choice.

2. Travel A LOT more with my boyfriend. (First stop, MIAMI).

3. Take a little fat off my tummy...my jeans are starting to leave that painful red line across my stomach.

4. Keep my bitch fits to a minimum (with everyone). My cousin Chip (R.I.P) told me that I need to stop being so bitter. So maybe I should take that into consideration. Therefore people will need to stop getting on my fucking nerves.

5. Be a lot cleaner and organized. My room is fucking disgusting. I'm always so scared that something is going to crawl out from underneath my bed.

6. Save a little money. Money burns my hands like chicken grease. I wish that I can just cool it and collect rather than buying unnecessary shit.

7. Become more family orientated. My family lost a young person and I feel as if it has brought us together more than ever. It's a shame that it had to happen under those circumstances but for the sake of Chip and the family, I believe we need each other more than ever.

8. Take it easy on my "sick days" so I can have more vacation days. We know DAMN well that half the time I could bring my ass in.

9. Get my sneaker collection back up to par. Ugh, didn't I just say I don't need to spend!?!?!?!

10. Minimize my facebook status's to 3-4 a day. (HA!)

So there you have it lovers. I have a list of things I would like to work at. Let's cross our chubby fingers and hope things get scratched off one by one!

Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Skinny Bitches

I hate to start off the new year with such animosity towards a certain group of people, but I'm sorry, they have drove me to the point where I need to let it OUTTTT. I rarely express my disgust towards a certain crowd. Most of you know I embrace people of all shapes, colors and sizes. But nothing irks me more than a skinny bitch that gives me the dirtiest looks because I'm a big bitch knowing what the fuck I'm doing. This is why people say I think I'm better than others because I refuse, let me say that again, I refuse to go ahead and let some uppidity bitch think she has one up on me because she can shop at Forever 21.

Let me go ahead and tell the story before you people judge. I got on the train this morning. Started going through the doors until I found a cart that made me feel comfortable. As I began to survey the train I saw this cute little girl, probably 18-20 years old. You could tell she thought her shit didn't stink (even though I'm sure it did). I see her eyes meet mine and I already knew what the fuck it was. I'm use to these stares. I get them all the fucking time. From men and women of all ages. THAT shit doesn't phase me. As I continue to walk I see her survey my entire body..up and down...up and down. I laughed to myself. I sat down diagonally across from her and when I adjusted myself I glanced at her, caught her eye balling the shit out of me...and pulled out my ipod to change my selection of song.

What's funny is I do NOT think I am better than anyone. But I DO feel as though anyone who finds it necessary to ADORE me on a train, well shit, I'm going to give them a fucking show. I'm going to adjust my Michael Kors watch and you damn right I'm going to hold my Marc Jacobs purse high. I do this not because I am a label whore. I do it because I am SO tired of bitches (skinny ones in particular) thinking that they have the upper hand in life because they eat salad every day. A woman can be beautiful no matter what size she is. And I knew, I just knew that was why she was eying me. If she liked my bag, or my bracelet or my jacket, she could have looked and went about her business. But the look she was giving me as I walked to the seat of my choice was making me feel like Beyonce. My posts will make me seem like my nose is so far up in the air. Like I'm a siddity bitch. No, that is not the case. I have TONS of flaws just like everyone in this world. But I have no problem getting, having or keeping a man. I have no problem buying, shopping or wearing clothes. I have no breathing, ankle, hunger problems. So yes, I'm going to do me. And for those of you who don't like it, for those of you who are jealous....

Choke on a Twinkie bitch.

new year, new me..but STILL thicker than cornbread. thank you very much for fucking playing.

Men Pt 2!!!!

I often gripe a lot about men and hell, I have every reason to do so. Some cause more anger and frustrations than others. But at the end of the day there is one man that simply completes me. We are like a roller coaster and we go up and down but sweet jesus at the end of the day he has every inch of my heart. It's crazy because he often posses just a lot of the qualities that the men who get on my nerve have. But this guy, my guy, well he's pretty fucking awesome. I've blogged about him a lot for the past 2 years and I just want to say don't you EVER feel like you can't change someone. You don't have to change their personality, you simply alter their ways so that you both make profitable contributions to the relationship. A lot, hold on, let me say that again, A LOT of people hate on our relationship. Ok, maybe not hate, shiiit what the fuck am I saying-- it's hating, because I'm so good to him. Because I don't have bills to pay and we can do anything we damn well please. Last night I went out with my man and we had a time in a half. Unlike most couples or people dating, the simple things allow us to have the best time ever! We're going to Miami in a few weeks...and everybody and their fucking cousin is hating because my dad is paying for it! HA! I know, he's lucky. :). I titled this post "Men Pt.2 !!!!" because the other day I verbally expressed my disgust for most men. Well, this man, does disgust me at times, but I think it's safe to say, I'm so deep, down in love that I have nothing to worry about. I'm excited for my Miami trip. Not because it's Miami, but because I'm going to be in Miami with my boyfriend. Does it get ANY better than that?????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I can't freaking WAIT for the next 3 weeks. I'm like thinking of what to pack already! Life goes through ups and downs but never not once do I regret ANYTHING I do. I'm living life...to the fullest. I'm young and ready! AHHHH, so freaking excited.

MEN!!!

This post is dedicated to MEN. Not just one man, ALL MEN!!! The living, breathing species of a man! I want to start out by saying that it's sickening to the fact that a man can't be "just" your friend because some where down the line he becomes attracted to you. When we established our friendship, we didn't make a deal to fuck in a few months. You can't get mad at me when I deny you because that's never what I wanted in the first place. Secondly, deleting me off of your social networking site because I've said something or I've ignored you, well that's a bitch ass move and you should just bend on over and let another nigga eat your pussy, because that is EXACTLY what you are-- PUSSY! It doesn't bother me. I have TONS of real friends on my back. It simply lets me know that your character is a weak ass muthafucka.

If you haven't noticed I have a bone to pick with men. They have all rubbed me the wrong way. They have all belittled me and insulted my intelligence. They have lied, they have played me and frankly, I'm tired of being the puppet, it is time for me to be the puppet master. It is time for me to be the one who walks all over them. It is MY turn.

For the record, I was told that I thought I was better than everyone. I was told that I walk with my head in the clouds. Well, from every man that I have had ANY sort of communication with, YES you DAMN right I am better than them. And until men start acting like "MEN", I will ALWAYS be fucking better than them. Get your dicks out your ass and BE something rather than just fucking doing something. Until then, I will continue to make more money, I will continue to be smarter, and I will continue to be sexier. Get like me or fucking get LEFT!

Ok..

So I haven't been on this blog in months and it's pretty pitiful that the only time I do make a come back is when I'm feeling some type of way. Let's not get it twisted..this is FAR from a comeback...i just need something or someone that will listen to me.

A lot has happened and a lot hasn't happened over the past months. I actually am writing on my blog today because I FINALLY have realized that there is only ONE person who understands me and needless to say that person is no longer in my life. It hurts when someone turns their back on you after you gave them your trust. It hurts reallll bad. Through my current situation, through my current aggravation and anger I simply want to just reach out to him and I want him to make me laugh..something that he was always so good at. He understands me. He understands who I am and what I do. I have NEVER met anyone who understands me on the level that he does. That is why he was my bestfriend. Emphasis on "was". It's sad...and I'm sad...and I miss him a lot some times. And I catch myself wanting to call or text him. But I'm not stupid. I'm not going to subject myself to that shit! I've learned that you can't have your cake and eat it to. It's merely impossible. I live a life where I will always be misunderstood. But that's ok with me. That's perfectly fine! I have NO problem being the brightest crayon in the box. What the fuck ever....I will continue to do me. My success is measured by the pack of haters that follow behind me.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lloyd cut his hair!!!! :(...that's what MADE Lloyd.

My Favorite!!!!

........

I've been neglecting La La Land BIG time and unfortunately the only time I really get back into the mix of things is when I have something to say! I won't go into details, nor will justify the excuse of self-pity. I simply want to state that I have been pushed and pushed and pushed to the point where I finally fell off the cliff. I held on to every rock and every ledge constantly trying to pull myself up but still, I tripped, fell and stumbled!!!! Speaking with a fellow co-worker who is maybe about 10-12 years older than me she stated that men never really grow up...EVER!! Does that make it ok for them to act like selfish, immature, heartbreaking bastards? DEFINITELY NOT!!!!!! I feel in love with someone I really cared for. Someone who I worshiped the ground he walked on. We went through SO much and ultimately he was my first true love! I can cry about it like I normally do, or I can call this a lesson learn. I've constantly stuck by him through ALL his endeavors in hopes that I will no longer be his option, but rather his priority. After a year and 9 months I have learned SO much, both good and bad that will continue to stick with me as I grow. I am sad. And every inch of my body feels hurt because I love that boy to death. Not just as a boyfriend, but as EVERYTHING! But sometimes you just have to do what's good for you. What's next? I guess I'm going to focus on myself. Make things right with ME! It is definitely time for some "Me Time". I'm not even thinking about love. It is going to take me a LONG time to get over this one. I mean VERY long time. But I'm strong. I can get through anything I put my heart to. The worst part of it all is simply remembering. I would pay BIG money to just wipe my memory away. That's when I become sad. When I think about the times he made me laugh, the times he dried my tears. UGHHH!!!! I fucking miss him SO SO SOOOO much. But I have to do this for myself. He was giving me the time of day that I needed and deserved. With that being said. I'm single. I'm not looking. I'm not ready to mingle. I'm just single and alone.

Lady Gaga & Marc Jacobs for V Magazine

You guys don't know how much I absolutely ADORE this!!!!!! I love it SO much that I want to make it my background!!!! AHHHHH!!!!