"Missed Connections" on Craigslist

So I am terribly bored at work today. The time is going slow as hell!!!! So I decided to take a look at the missed connections section in craigslist and OMG, this shit is pure hilarity!!!

Jason - It's Heather. Met you at our wrap party at Apsen Social Club. What happened? I went in to get my credit card, and when I came out, you were gone...

Today during lunchtime, I was in bed with another man, yet you came into my head. I pictured you at the elevator, with your Blackberry, pretending you didn't notice me. It's been two months since you walked away from me that day.It's bad enough you ruined my heart, please don't ruin my sex life. Get out of my head.

Your kitchen faces my living room. It was always a delight to see you wandering around naked in the morning. And more than once I caught the spectacle of you banging some chick in your kitchen. I'm moving now, so I just wanted to say thanks for all the entertainment. You look splendid naked.

This is for the young lady that passed out on the uptown 2/3 train this morning around 8:45. We were in the very front of the train next to the doors and you just fell over then got off at 34th street. I was checking you out before you fainted and I thought you were very pretty. Anyway, I was just checking to see if you were ok.