Trust.

As promised...

A broken toy.
The screws are weak, the paint worn through.
Its been played with, thrown around and physically abused.
Mentally made it feel as if it were no good.
It sits in the corner, all alone.
It gets stepped on, kicked and made fun of by others.
Not strong enough to take a stand.
Its controlled by them..the words it speaks and the actions it makes.
The worth? A mere dollar or two.
No one wants this toy. Its played out and all used.
Its been passed along through friends. Bruised.
This toy can't take no more.
The ending time is near. Time to stop trying to be seen. And put away
forever.
The plastic its made of is melting away. And its clothes...those that
are filled with holes.
The sight of this ugly thing can make him cringe.
A broken toy.
Used and abused. Mistreated. Neglected.
I am the broken toy.

"With good, comes bad"
July 18, 2008 - January 26, 2008....

Most of my blogs are usually about love and how whack my love life really is. I won't burden you with my sob story. I won't tell you how I can't stop crying or I feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life. This blog is mostly about trust. Something that is overlooked most of the time. Trust is complicated, much like love. How easy can you allow trust to take over your choice and decisions, just like love blinds you in most cases? My biggest problem is that I trust all. I allow anybody to break that personal boundary that in all actuality should be sacred. So here's the million dollar question: Who do you trust and what components really determine that trust factor?

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”
True story.

“The
key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are.
Instead, we trust people to be who we want them to be- and when they're
not, we cry.”
Amen to that!

I believe that for a woman, trust is the most difficult thing to determine. I don't know about most chicks, but often I let down my barriers very quickly. Let em' spit some game and tell me how much I mean to them and BAM! I give em' my social. Over the years, over the several heartbreaks I was like ppshh, I learned my lesson. But have I really? Your instinct is one tricky bitch. Oh my jesus. With instinct and love, thats a potion for some crazaayy shat. It's opposites. Mind (instinct) and heart (love). I'm a libra. Our characteristics clearly say that we're loving and caring and all that other pitiful stuff. Yeah, basically they're trying to say that we are pitiful bitches that enjoy being taken advantage of. Ain't that a bitch. Our destiny is already pre-determined for us based on the day we were born. Don't believe me? Open up any birthday future teller book, horoscope etc..and you can't sit there and tell me not ONE thing is irrelevant to your life. Mhmm. Trust me, I read those things.

Now back to trust. Ask yourself this: how many people do you REALLY trust? I'm talking about listen to your problems hear my secrets alica keys diary kinda trust...

Me: 3 1/2
You: ?

Most people would probably say that one bestie or like their brother or sister. My half of trust is the reason for this entire entry. Lord have mercy on my soul I want to be able to trust him more then anything in this fucked up world. But there is just something that isn't allowing me to do that. My instinct is like fucking with me now. My heart is telling me go La go La go. But shit, my mind is like hold up wait a fucking minute, been there done that got the t-shirt sweetie. This is why people go crazy! Ok let's get into more detail because it gets a lot more complicated then it already is. So this person: same sign as me...both libras. Which makes it a little easier to comprehend. And let's not get it twisted, I come right out and ask what I want to know. La doesn't sugarcoat not a damn thing. But I can spot a liar, I'm good at that sort of thing. But something is telling me he isn't lying. I love this kid soooooooooooooooo much. Like whoa man, he's the Sugar Honey Ice Tea, seriously. I'm not talking about in a physical or sexual way, this is strictly mental.

I've given up on trying to figure this mess out.