The "V" Card

Most people feel as though your "first time" is suppose to be special, it's suppose to be with someone you love and would like to spend the rest of your life with. Then there are the people like me, who just want to get it over with. Yes, I know something like that should be cherished but hell, after high school I needed some pinga..and BAD!!! I didn't have the patience to move to a new city and try to find the "right" one. Granted, I didn't pull some random guy off the street and fuck him. It was more along the lines of "THINKING" I found the right one (or at least that's what my mind was telling me). I remember it like it was yesterday. Not because it was special, and not because the person was special. But because I was scared as FUCK!!! There was NOTHING romantic about it. There wasn't any candlelit dinner or sexy lingerie. More like Chinese fried chicken and dogs barking in the background. The lights were on (and at the time, I was totally self-conscious about my big ol' belly), and his brother AND mother was home. Now that I think of it...I was NOT a fucking lady. AT ALL!!!!!!!! Without going into details, I remember that I was pretty quiet at some times. No silent, but not screaming like I scream with my current boyfriend. I was so inexperienced and he had absolutely no idea it was my first time. I didn't...ya know...and I don't think he did either. It was short. It was a quickie I guess. After it was all said and done I was so fucking confused. I was thinking to myself..."Is that REALLY it???" Nooo, that can't be it. There has to be something else. Because THAT was boring as hell! At one point, all I could think about is what I was going to wear the next day. Needless to say, my first time was not with someone I truly loved, and it wasn't special!! Do I wish it could have been someone else??? HELL YEAH!!!!!!!! I really wished I would've waited and gave up the "V" card to someone that respected me, and was in love with me. Whatev. We learn from our mistakes! I guess if I didn't lose it then, I'm pretty sure I know who I'd lose it to :x. And trust me, the way he's chopping me down now, I am almost positive that would have been a painful first time!!!! OUCH!