Happiness??

First off I would like to apologize for blogging via Bronx Courthouse. I was burdened with jury duty. But the title of this post is pretty self- explanatory. Most of my followers probably know by now that sometimes I contradict myself. Its not because I'm fake, or confused..its simply because I live and I learn. Two months ago I may have been bragging about how happy I am or the different things that contribute to that happiness. But that was two months ago. I'm living in today!! I often think that people are what usually generate my happiness, but over the course of my ups and downs I've realized that people are usually the ones who wipe that shit right from under my feet. It doesn't take much to please me, just as it doesn't take much to piss me off. Because of these altering mood swings I find myself always snapping at people. As much as id like to blame myself, I've come to the conclusion that its the people around me!!! Yes, I said it!! Its always what someone did or what someone said that knocks me back into that field of negativity. Most of you would ask, ,why continue a relationship or friendship with someone of that calibar?" Well honestly, in order to posses the qualities to bbecome one of my good friends you pretty much have to pass the test!!! And once you pass that, well its safe to say you are able to handle me at my best AND worse!! Anyways, back to the topic at hand. Flowers, and candy and cute little dogs?? Those things don't make me happy. They don't even phase me to be honest with you. Unfortunately, kind words and kind people tend to get me all sappy. But living in this world, living in this city and adapting to all of societies "norms" well heyy, that makes it pretty fucking impossible to be happy. Am I making sense here?? Or are you guys confused?? Because I'm a little confused myself. To put all this fucked up shit into a nutshell...someone went ahead and yook the happiness from right under my fucking feet. I was happy. I woke up in better moods. And now.....I wake up angry. I wake up wanting to scream and bitch and argue. So what type of person does that make me?? Does that make me an angry little bitch?? Or does it make me someone just trying to get through to the world??? Man how I wish I can just get into people's mind and let them know that they are the source of my happiness so stop fucking that shit up!!! Ughhhh!! Today is one of those days..Those days where I just want to scream. So cover your ears world, I'm about to belt one out!!!!!!