Toure

I kinda miss Luda's braids!! The short cut gives him a sophisticated look..but the braids matched his wild personality. Now the reason for this post wasn't for Ludacris. I just wanted to shed light on nappy headed Toure. Yes, please feel free to scratch your heads with this one. Ya know, Toure..the D-Lister who spends his time interviewing high profile celebrities. Why so salty towards this man? Well it all started a few years back when I interned at VIBE! I will never forget this day. Toure had a meeting with Danyel Smith and I had to put his name into the visitor site (some site the building made us use when we were expecting a visitor..yes, security was THAT tight). So the name that was given to me was Toure. Plain and simple Toure. I had no means of googling the last name, but when push came to shove I had to choice, but I'll explain that part in a few. So I entered Toure as the first name and unknown as the second. So "Diva Diva Ya'll Toure" arrives at the Wall Street building "thinking" (and i use that word VERY loosely) that he was just going to waltz his way into the building without any problems. No, no sweetie!! Sorry to burst your bubble but you are no Beyonce. You have to go through the SAME procedures as us mediocre interns and secretaries. A few minutes after his scheduled appointment time I get a call to Danyel's line from Mr. Toure himself. Normally when I had the chance to talk to celebrities I would act like a little groupie, but in this case, I felt like I was chatting with a factory worker. In a very suave voice he tells me "I'm standing downstairs in the lobby and the security guard said that he will not let me in because my last name isn't in the system". So I kindly explained to him that he needed to give us his last name so I could enter it in the system. He shot back "It's Toure. Toure is my name". Seeing that I was an intern and I needed to be all kinds of professional, I excepted his half ass answer and took matters into my own hands. Apparently Toure felt as though he was so grand that he can be like Madonna, just the first name forget the last. I was more than sure that his photo I.D. didn't JUST say "Toure". Needless to say after Toure threw his bitch fit in the lobby, I googled his name and pulled up his weak ass wikipedia and found his last name: _______ (Hmm, it doesn't seem to be there anymore). I'm sure he would have been even more pissed when he found out I forgot the asterisk over the E in his name.

The moral of the story ladies and gentlemen is to lower your fucking ego because at the end of the day Toure, NOBODY really gives a fuck about you. And dear, I am ONE less fan you have to worry about. Double kisses BITCH!