Is It Ever Ok to Cry?

With my boyfriend being gone and all...I really don't have a shoulder to lean on and quite frankly all I want to do is cry. I know it's only been one day. But the thought of him being gone, for SO freaking long..is throwing me in the blender and chopping me up into little pieces. November is definitely not that far away, but the fact that he's gone makes me think of one thing and one thing only. It makes me think of what happened the last time he was at school. What we both had to go through, how many times I cried because I missed him uncontrollably. Now we are doing better then ever before, no fights, seeing each other all the time, talking to each other all the time..and then stupid school comes along and snatches that right from under my nose. And I don't cry because he's gone, I cry because I'm scared as FUCK and I don't know if we're going to fall into that same place we were not too long ago. I don't want to say that I don't trust him, he said he was going to do something...So he's going to do it..Right? And I can't be mad, I can't make him feel guilty that he's doing something to better himself. That's not fair to him. I just wish it didn't have to be this way. And it seems like the next few weeks I'm gonna feel this way. I'm gonna feel incomplete and not satisfied with any attempts he makes. So my question is..is it ever ok to cry? Especially in a situation like this. As soon as the tears start to flow and someone hears the shakeyness in my voice..they say "Don't Cry"...uhmmm, if I could stop the fucking tears don't you think I would have done that a LONG time ago. I can't freaking help it. It's not something I can control. Because when I try to hold em' back they come down even harder.

I just want to fall into a comma and wake up on November 26th. I fucking miss him soooo much already!! Like REALLY miss him. I don't know how I'm gonna last this long. I really don't. I am so depressed and emo.