Uh Oh!!!

See...this is why I listen to my boyfriend. I always give people the benefit of the doubt and when shit hits the fan I get the infamous "I told you so". Well, shit is soon about to hit the fan. I just KNEW it wasn't gonna grow into something. I have a boyfriend who I love with all my heart and would never do anything to hurt him. Some people really don't care and continue to make their move. Fair enough, men have their own way of dealing with things. I have absolutely NO interest in this dude. He's cool. I can def see a friendship in the long-run, but anything else?? HELL NO!!! And I don't think he gets that. And it sucks, because I want to tell my boyfriend everything that is going on, I'm writing notes and keeping details..but I can't freakin tell him!! Why?? Because he made it clear to stop talking about him. Which is understandable, who the hell wants to feel like their girl is having "girl talk" with them about some dude who is feeling her to the umph degree?? I admit it, it's my fault. I'm always nice to people and tend to give them the wrong idea. But even though my boyfriend is in Boston for a really long time, I honestly have NO intentions on creeping with anyone. Things are going good and I don't want to mess em' up. Like I said, we've been through the hurting stage and I love him too much to go back to that place.

Ok there's a reason to this post. So me being the nice person I am and always getting suckered into doing things I really don't want to do. So it starts like this...We're having a conversation..nothing out of the ordinary. Talking about sneakers and clothes and the things that we have in common. All of a sudden it takes a sudden turn. Ok, more sudden then I expected. Homeboy starts talking about how he was lost for words the other day and didn't know if he wanted to hug me or kiss me when he was going to say goodbye. <------AWKWARD!!! That sounds like more then friendship talk to me. I ignored that. Hopefully that would have given him the hint. He continues to speak about how cute I looked in my jeans yesterday and how he has this master plan!???? MASTER PLAN??? What in the name of heavenly berry juices????????????????????? Why does he have a master plan? What IS this master plan?? I'm not bashful at all. Not one bit. So I had to ask. "Excuse me, what is this master plan that you have??" OH SHIT!!! HE JUST WALKED IN....<---- minimize. BRB...


Ok, so I'm back. Where did I leave off?? So, the answer to that master plan question was " I can't tell you"...La was NOT taking that for an answer. So after picking at it for a while, his answer was "For the first time I was jumbled on my words and didn't know what to say (weak game). But when I get more comfortable with you, which will probably be next week I'm going to tell you to drop whoever you're messing with and make room for me!" OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT GOOD!!! NO NO NO NO NO!!! Those are fighting words. These are the things that I NEED to tell my love. But I when someone says something like that, he would be on the first thing smoking to beat somebody's ass. Fuck that, he would seriously kill him. Because he crossed the line of disrespect!! And NO ONE (not even me) has the ability to disrespect my man, especially when their in the same set (gangster terminology). But here's my dilemma. If I don't say anything, I'm hiding something. It makes it seem like I'm wanting this attention. So now I'm stuck between a rock and an extremely hard place. Life isn't fair. I had no intentions of doing anything or even making it anything..But as always, Lauren makes dudes fall for her..unintentionally of course. There isn't any flirting or past relationship talk. It's strictly platonic. And they ALWAYS feel the need to cross the line. It's not cool because I like to have guy friends and they always seem to cross the line. Ugh, I hate it!!!

Btw, there is a messenger in my face TRYING to be nice and spit game and it just isn't working. So I need to sit and think about this. I'm nervous. I need to tell my BF something, because I'm not hiding this shit from him. I can't.

Tootz.